A collage of photos on my friend’s wall stopped me cold.
“This is my family tree wall,” she said. And then she explained how the collection of old and new photos that took up an entire dining room wall has become a priceless conversation starer for her children and has helped strengthen her family.
I quickly realized that I needed to share Marissa’s family tree wall with you because the reasons she created this wall – and its affect on her family – are so inspiring.
Show off your family tree like a boss
Marissa was first inspired by a wall of family pictures at her husband’s grandparents house.
One day while shopping at a thrift store, she saw a drawing of a blank family tree that went back 4 generations. That means, there was space on the drawing to put info about her and her husband, both of their parents, their grandparents, and their great-grandparents.
She brought the picture home, added in the names, and framed it.
(In a strange twist, turns out Marissa’s husband’s aunt is the one who created and sold the drawing back in the ‘70s.)
The family tree drawing has 2 sides – wife’s side and husband’s side.
“I decided to hang wedding pictures of everyone in the tree around the drawing,” Marissa explained.
So, she tracked down wedding pictures for her and her husband’s parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. She even found the wedding picture of one grandma in a black wedding dress — it was during WW2 and there was no white material available.
Beneath the drawing, she hung a frame with her wedding picture between the wedding pictures of her parents and her husband’s parents. Below that is a frame with wedding pics of her and her husband’s siblings.
The family tree drawing is surrounded by wedding pictures, with the oldest on the top to the most recent on the bottom.
That was the centerpiece of the family history wall.
Then she surrounded that with photographs of her immediate family – so her children and husband. “I want to show the family history my kids have lived through,” Marissa explained.
And then, even farther out, she included pictures of more distant family and friends. Because “family is whoever has deep meaning or connection to you,” Marissa said.
Even I make an appearance on her wall. Right here:
Little-known ways your tree can strengthen your family
Marissa was raised in The Netherlands (her dad is Dutch, mom is American). She lived there from birth until age 16 when she moved to the US. She speaks fluent Dutch and English.
Her Dutch grandfather did some family history. Then, after his death, she felt that he was prompting her to start working on family history NOW!
“I know the Dutch language. My children don’t. So, I’m the link between my kids and their ancestors,” Marissa explains.
Obviously, family history is important to Marissa, so it’s important to her to have the wall in her home.
“I thought it was good for my kids to have pictures to see faces behind names,” she continued. And beyond that, since Marissa knew some of her great-grandparents, she could tell her children stories about those people.
Furthermore, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints brought all those family members together. “Everyone on this wall will be together forever thanks to the Church,” Marissa said. “That’s what the gospel does is bring people together.”
It’s like the Old Testament scripture says: “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers” (Malachi 4:6). For Marissa, the wall accomplishes this in a very tangible way.
Non-boring way to start conversations about your family tree
“Everyone who sees it – family or otherwise – stops,” she says of her family history wall. “People really stop and look at it. It’s a cool way to share my family with people.”
And that includes conversations with her 5 children. “It’s a way to keep our home focused on what most important to us – family — and share that with our children.”
Her kids are more familiar with the stories of those 4 generations than they were before – or probably would be if she didn’t have the wall in their homes. Her kids have gotten to know more about the people who have shaped their lives.
And the wall is a visual way for Marissa to express her knowledge of eternal families.
How your family tree could impact your family
Marissa’s husband works in college sports, and his career takes him away from home often during the sport’s season and has to led to a number of moves.
The wall has become a way to stay connected to family as they’ve moved around. It’s a constant that brings her a sense of peace and connectedness in a home in a brand-new place. “Being reminded of people who love me and brought me into this world makes me feel less alone,” Marissa explained.
And, furthering those connections, the family history wall has helped her develop a closer relationship with her husband’s family. There’s something about putting together the wall and displaying it in their home that make her feel part of his entire family, rather than just an “add on.”
Their wedding picture in the center symbolizes the union of all those people. It’s like a constant reminder that their marriage is so much more than just him and her and their daily choices. That their marriage is bringing together the families and lives of many, many people across many years.
Of course, some of the marriages pictured on her family history wall didn’t last. But in the pictures that she displays, the couples are still together.
“It’s a reminder,” Marissa says, “of how if life doesn’t always end as happy as the wedding day. But at least their union resulted in something good (a child) that led to me and my husband being born and eventually getting married.”
As she’s gotten to know the people on the wall, it’s motivated her to be interested in them and keep learning about them. And that’s rubbed off on to one of her sons, who asks to work on family history every week.
Create your family tree conversation starter
Want to create a family history wall in your home? Marissa wants you to know that this is a simple project.
“I’m the furthest thing from a crafty person,” Marissa explains, laughing. “If something is too big, I won’t do it.” But finding a person’s name and picture is a simple, easy way to start doing family history.
You only need a few things to create a family history wall:
- Names and birth dates from you back to your great-grandparents
- A family tree drawing. I created a Pinterest board with a bunch of examples, to inspire you.
- Pictures (wedding or otherwise) of those people. (And if your chart goes back to your great-grandparents, you can usually find pics of everyone.) Print the pics at Costco or Walmart or your favorite 1-hour photo places.
- Simple set of black picture frames
“The hardest thing is having the pictures line up,” she told me. “But I like that they don’t hang perfect cause no family is perfect.”
Put it where your family hangs out
She puts the family history wall in places where her family gathers.
She tries to choose someplace where her family will relax or walk by regularly so that it can be a reminder of and conversation starter about their extended family.
In one house, for example, she had it in their formal dining room – a place they gathered mainly for large family dinners and celebrations. Perfect!
She doesn’t place it in a front room or “public” part of her home. “It’s for me and my family,” Marissa says, although she has no problems sharing family stories with non-family who do happen to see it.
Be flexible and let it change
The wall started to get big, so she’s had to simplify it over the years.
“I haven’t always had enough room for all the pictures,” Marissa explains, thinking of the various homes she’s put the wall up in. “It’s ok that it changes over time. Play around with it. Let it change.”
The one thing, however that she keeps the same is the centerpiece with the family tree drawing and all the wedding pictures.
It’s good for everyone to know they’re connected,” she told me. “It fosters gratitude, love, and unity toward family. Just a lot of positive feelings.”
Positive family feelings are something I’m pretty sure every home wants more of.
Feeling inspired? Do something creative with your family story!
I created a FREE guide to help you tell your family story in a way that’s fun and meaningful for you and your family. Maybe you’ll create a wall like this or a video or a series of photo books.
“Create Your Family Story: A Beginner’s Guide” is filled with ideas and tips to inspire your own family story! Did I mention is totally free? Download your guide today!
Have you created anything like this in your home? Or are you inspired to create your own? Let me know in the comments! And I’d love to see pictures as well!
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All images courtesy Marissa May, except for the 4-generation family tree diagram, which was created by Anastasia Harman from an Adobe Stock template.
